Sunday, March 18, 2007

Will Bad Case Hypochondriacs Worry About Fictional Disease?

There sure are some very weird mental disorders about. There is the Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy where a carer brings about an illness to his/her protégé in order to attract sympathy and so fulfil emotional needs. There is the Alien Hand Syndrome where sufferers feel they have no control of their “alien” hand which so acts totally independently. There is the very creepy Body Integrity Identity Disorder where people feel the need to amputate perfectly healthy limbs. Anyway, that is just too horrible to think about, so let me get to the point. I was thinking about Hypochondria, which is a pretty mild disorder compared to the ones I have just mentioned. I was wondering if anyone could have such a bad case of hypochondria that they would imagine they were inflicted by fictional illnesses, such as the ones below:

- Foaming Sheep Sickness. A Disc World disease caused by eating green mutton.

- Petrifold Regression from Dr Who. Sufferer slowly turns into a stone block, similar to fossilization.

- Space Mumps from Red Dwarf. A disease which causes the sufferer's head to swell to the size and shape of a cantaloupe. When the disease "breaks", the swelling explodes.

- E. Henry Thripshaw's Disease. Monty Python. Sufferers say words in the wrong order, and sometimes the wrong word completely. And the thing about saying the wrong word is a) they don't notice it, and b) sometimes orange water given bucket of plaster.

- Boneis Eruptus from The Simpsons. A disease "where the skeleton tries to leap out of the mouth and escape the body".

- Electro-Gonorrhea from Futurama. Also known as "The Noisy Killer". Supposedly contracted during sexual intercourse between humans and robots.

- Gingervitis from South Park. The offspring of two people with a specific recessive gene who inherit it from each parent will be "ginger", meaning that they will have pale skin, red hair, and many freckles. In a class presentation on "gingers" Eric Cartman refers to this condition as Gingervitis and additionally claims that these children "have no souls" and cannot be exposed to sunlight.

- Jigsaw disease from Judge Dread. Terminal disease that causes random parts of the body to spontaneously vanish.

- Tumorsyphilisitisosis from Family Guy. A fake fictional disease which causes extra nipples, which look remarkably like pepperoni, to grow and then fall off.

- Vaginitus from South Park. A disease where if you don't eat meat, you get little sores all over your face, which are actually tiny vaginas, and if you don't get it taken care of, you turn into one big vagina.

Omg! The pure thought of that last one would turn anyone carnivorous.

This compilation of fictional diseases was made possible by yet another great list from Wikipedia: List of Fictional Diseases

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