Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Talk about anticlimax!

I love “The Portrait of Dorian Gray”, and it would most likely rank within my top ten; I was therefor thrilled when I turned on the TV and realised a filmed version of the book was just about to be shown. But how could I ever have imagined that a 1945 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer production would do the book justice!? The worst of it all was when Dorian went in the saucy club at the beginning. I was full of expectations as to whom would be portraying Sybil Vane. But my god! I could not believe my eyes! Onto the stage comes that “Murder She Wrote”-woman, Angela Lansbury! That’s when I stopped watching.

Oscar Wilde would not have been pleased.

Luckily before I stopped watching, I had had a fair share of Sir Henrys cynical statements. That man is cool!

“I can sympathize with everything, except suffering.”

“It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But . . . it is better to be good than to be ugly.”

Monday, June 26, 2006

but of course this is all depending on if Karl Gunnarsson was busy
Interpol - Leif Erikson live

... and if Krause is busy Paul Banks will do fine ...

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Six Feet Under

And on the “Who I’d Like to Meet”-question my answer is: ... Peter Krause ...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

On my way to mindfulness I have decided to change paths. I will leave Buddhism and get on to Hollywood instead. Ricky Fitts (Wes Bentley) might be on to the core of the matter …

“It was one of those days when it’s a minute away from snowing and there’s this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that’s the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and … this incredible benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video’s a poor excuse. But it helps me remember … and I need to remember … Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart is going to cave in.”

Monday, June 19, 2006

All Set For the Venture of Mindfulness

Yesterday I was strolling along the shoreline, water up to my knees, listening to some fabulous music. There was a beautiful play of sunlight reflexes on the water, and everything was just so lovely - perfect in every way. Still, in this ideal situation, I realise I am not able to enjoy it for what it is, as thoughts on other things constantly distracts me. Seems like such a waste of a lovely moment, not being able to cherish it fully!

Buddha’s idea of even the loveliest experience being tainted by worry of loosing it seems relevant here. I therefore had the idea I might try some Buddhist meditation to see if it makes a difference in my trying to get to grips with my awareness problem. Having consulted the internet I have found some really cool stuff; Zen Buddhism being especially tantalizing. Zen is concerned with what actually is, rather than what we think or feel about what is. Zen is not a philosophy or a religion because Zen is not words. Zen tries to free the mind of the slavery of words and the constriction of logic.

By chance my friend the psychotherapist has been able to give me a scientific angle on the matter. In psychotherapy they talk about “mindfulness” as a way of mastering situations by seeing them for what they really are. (To master a phobia a patient is, for example, trained to view a situation exactly for what it is there and then, as a means of controlling it. When we experience something that frightens us the autonomic nervous system is triggered. Our mind then reads this as we actually should be scared and thus the panic is set on. The body fools the mind in other words. If we just calmly feel the here and now we peel of all the excessive thoughts that might fool us into being scared.)

And now for some audio files on Buddhist meditation ...

Friday, June 16, 2006


This is Bosse. He is on his way over to his mates to watch the Sweden-Paraguay game.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

There is no Snakes in Iceland ...

That snake is highly poisonous. I encountered it yesterday while walking in the woods near my home. This would not have happened in Iceland, and that is not only because of the lack of woods; I would have met a snake over there as little as I would have met a train.

Excerpt from “News From Nowhere” by William Morris

Said I: "How do you manage with politics”?
Said Hammond, smiling: "I am glad that it is of me that you ask that question; I do believe that anybody else would make you explain yourself, or try to do so, till you
were sick of asking questions. Indeed, I believe I am the only man in England who would know what you mean; and since I know, I will answer your question briefly by saying that we are very well off as to politics, - because we have none. If ever you make a book out of this conversation, put this in a chapter by itself, after the model of old Horrebow's Snakes in Iceland"
... an allusive phrase ...

Saturday, June 10, 2006

As bizarre as it is …

This whole Internet thingy is weird! It's like I don't feel I'm actually doing something productive on my computer unless I'm connected. Writing text without being able to seek the net is vile! Besides it makes me feel really uneasy not being on-line; cut out from the world somehow.

I like the fact that I’m always able to interact; such as when it’s too late, or early for that matter, phoning people. I like being able to keep track of people at my own leisure. I also like the fact that I am able to have the choice of being available for interaction or not. I suppose in the real world I have that spy eye on my front door, but then people can still see if I’ve got the lights on or not, so that’s it for not opening the door … Blocking is a lot more discreet and of course also risk free when it comes to offending people or not. I like the fact that one on the Internet one is able to be a lot more selective about with whom one mingles, than one is in real life.

Another weird thingy is those Internet friends one has. I have people I consider close friends, living in far away parts of the world; people I've never met or have spoken a single audible word to. Those people are like dots here and there, spread out across the planet ... Often they feel at least as close as ones real life friends, but for obvious reasons more difficult to grip... Very unreal, but also intense relationships goes on. I am amazed at the apparent possibility of falling in love with people over the net, just through exchanging words. What I find weird, and interesting, is that you can be very close to someone without being part of a person’s family and friends-network. I have friends that could go and die on me, without me having the faintest, because of no other connection then the one-to-one dialogue.

When it comes to real life friends there is always a lot of linkage, as in people and places. This makes for obligations. With Internet-friends obligations are a lot more uncomplicated. When someone adheres to them, though, I find it comes across as nicely genuine and honest. I like virtual relationships.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I Don't Quite Get the Point

I was supposed to have celebrated the Swedish national day today. But, as it goes ... no ... I don't think so ...

Celebrating nationalism seems to me a somewhat suspect pass time, considering its dubious record. Surely we can agree on the fact that the phenomena of nationalism has had a tendency to create conflicts here and there during the last century; having on false pretence, started people of thinking in terms of us and them. That the Swedish government suddenly in this day and age, decides to make the national day into a public holiday; well what can I say other than: It sure puzzles me!

So, what am I expected to do on a day like this. Walk around feeling grate about our social welfare system? Or maybe think about how beautiful it is in the Stockholm archipelago. I do both things quite often as it goes. Should there be a special day for this, so that we can all do it at the same time …? I don’t see the point.

National days seem to me like something hopelessly obsolete. I even envisage something a bit nastily unpleasant about it; something reminiscent of past days, when values told people to worship the sovereignty, while looking with suspicious eyes at the rest of the world.

So, why this sudden need to wave the yellow and blue again? Is there for some reason once again a need for using abstract symbols in the identification process? Seems to me very reactionary indeed ...

Saturday, June 03, 2006

A Case of Justification

My extremely courageous, strong, indefatigable and disciplined brother has today run the Stockholm Marathon. I was there, and it was great. These people run 40 kilometres; and that is a looong way to run. My brother was determined to beat the 4 hour mark, and he did, with eight minutes to go. When I think of all the things we got up to, within the four hours he was running, it seems incomprehensible that he was jogging along all that time! While he was running, we were visiting people, we were leisurely strolling in and out of hundreds of shops, we were relaxing at cafés and we were sightseeing. Four hours is a long time to be running constantly; on asphalt … in the beating sun …

And now folks; this is how he justifies this madness: My brother trains a lot because training does your wellbeing a lot of good. Training makes sure one feels better physically for obvious reasons, but it also covers the mental wellbeing, as one is able to walk around feeling pleased with oneself for training. To go out running for long stretches several times a week, further goals are needed though, and Stockholm Marathon provides one of these to my brother. Thing is while he trains for the marathon he is not really training for the marathon. He is training to feel good, but he fools himself by telling himself he is training for the marathon.

The outmost perk of running a yearly marathon is, according to my brother, to be able to establish that one is at present, in as good a shape as last year. This probably explains the “really to old to run a marathon”-people you see along the track.

In case he should catch himself red-handed during the marathon, having fooled himself this is what he is training for, his trick up the back sleeve is to just tell himself “This is just another training round for the next marathon…”

We had a good laugh on the way back home in the evening, reading his tabloid horoscope: “Aquarius: Today you are taking it easy, just letting time pass.”